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When I was pregnant with my first son all of my other mama
friends were getting baby nurses, which are nannies specifically
trained in newborn skills. They sleep at your home for the first
weeks or months and tend to the baby’s needs. So I interviewed a
few myself and was all set to hire one when it dawned on me this
stranger would be sleeping in our one-bedroom apartment and
sharing the living room area with my newborn baby. I’m not a fan
of making small talk in general and the sudden realisation that I
would need to share everything with this new person during one
of the most stressful periods of my life put me into a panic. Not
only that, but I felt like it should be me or my husband wiping our
newborn’s bum and feeding him in the middle of the night, not
this very nice stranger whom I had only met weeks before.
Instead of a baby nurse I decided to get a doula. A doula is a trained
professional who gives physical, emotional and informational
support to a mama during the prenatal and postnatal periods
to help her achieve a healthy and satisfying early motherhood
experience. In other words, a doula is there for the mama, not for
the baby.
I’m a little anxious about this whole idea of
taking care of a baby. Would a doula help?
A doula is a mother’s helper that, depending on her skills, will do
everything from giving you a massage during labour to teaching
you the best positions for breastfeeding. Doulas will come to the
hospital to help out during the birthing process if you wish and
provide relaxation techniques as well as just overall help to you
and your partner.
Our doula, Pamela, knew exactly when to step in and when to
back off. She made herself available for labour, but I decided to
have her start once we got home from the hospital with the baby.
She came over the next day and brought essential oils to help
give me a back massage whilst I was breastfeeding. She also
showed me the proper way to bathe the baby and taught me
how to swaddle. She was a dream.
I found my doula through a friend’s recommendation, but I made
sure she was certified. The Doula UK website (doula.org.uk) has
a searchable list of doulas in your area so this is a good place to
start. Honestly I found the doula option to be the perfect answer.
Even with a mum or mother-in-law around to offer their help,
which has its pros and cons, I needed someone around to help
me, help my baby and to show me the ropes with no judgements
or pretences.